Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Whining About Wine

I will admit, I'm not the world's biggest Duck Dynasty fan, though I do know a bit about the show and the Robertson family. I first came into contact with this latest reality sensation at a minister's meeting, where a local pastor was promoting an evangelistic crusade in our community. He said something like, "Our goal right now is to get Phil Robertson as the main speaker that evening." Several around the table must have given this pastor the same look, because he shortly followed that up with, "You know, the Duck Dynasty patriarch." At home later that evening my wife asked me about the meeting, and after rambling through a few minor things, I said, "Oh. They're organizing a crusade and are hoping to get some Duck Guy to be the main speaker." She knew exactly what I was talking about.

The Duck Dynasty family has taken the nation by storm, and have found their most supportive fans in the pews of conservative evangelical churches. They've accomplished this not only by producing a reality show which is clean and emphasizes the family, but by each becoming outspoken promoters of the gospel and defenders of conservative Christian values (perhaps best seen in the family's support of the pro-life movement). But very quickly the Robertson family has become a major voice for conservatives, particularly Christian conservatives. How did this happen?

Evangelicals, just like every other facet of this culture, are obsessed with celebrity. Just pick your focus. You have your Reformed celebrities like MacArthur, Piper, and Keller. You have your various megachurch/megaministry celebrities like Graham, Stanley (both kinds), and Jeremiah. And then you have your various cultural celebrities like Tebow, select country music singers, and the Robertson family. Some of our celebrities are theological heroes to which we cling, some are larger-than-life personalities we adore, and some are what we might call "crossover stars" who publicly embrace their faith in Christ.

What does this final group of evangelical celebrity give us? Cultural relevance. They make us feel just a tad more significant in this culture which seems to be bent on rejecting us. A couple years ago I was watching Inside the NFL and heard someone singing "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High" and "Our God is an Awesome God" as he was making his way to the huddle. They had Tim Tebow wired for sound for millions to hear. How else could millions of the fans of America's most followed sport be simultaneously exposed to 1980's worship music? That kind of thing warms our hearts, and it suddenly makes 'one of us' relevant to the wide culture which (we believe) wants little to do with the evangelical church. The Robertson family falls into this same category. Devoted to the Lord and clear in their testimony about Christ, they are the perfect candidates for our celebrity evangelical cloud of witnesses. We don't require solid theology. We don't care about ministerial training or experience. Just throw touchdowns, continue writing good, clean songs, and keep attracting huge numbers of cable viewers. Be our Christian celebrity and we will give you our pulpits, our praises, and our support.

And so what happens when cracks appear in the celebrity foundation? What happens when Tim Tebow pulls out of a speaking engagement at a prototypical Southern Baptist church because of pressure from homosexual advocacy groups? What happens when the country music celebrity replaces 'How Great Thou Art' with 'Cowboy Casanova' on her song list? And what happens when the reality show celebrity Christians start fermenting their own wine, as the Robertson clan is now doing for profit?

In the article I reference, Patriarch Phil is quick to pull the "Jesus Turned Water into Wine" card. Fair enough. But did Jesus minister in a society in which alcohol plays an alarmingly significant role in deaths, diseases, divorces, financial ruin, and abuse? Phil definitely does. In fact, the very non-profit ministry which canceled the Robertson appearance, thereby creating this little dust-up, is largely needed because of alcohol abuse. Did Jesus establish his own testimony by describing how the Lord had saved him from a life of alcoholism? Phil has. Many, many times. And here's the biggie: Did Jesus profit from alcohol production?

The final question is the most damaging for the Robertson family's relationship with the American evangelical world. It is difficult to go anywhere these days without being inundated with Duck merchandise. That will soon include the wine aisle at your grocer. This has nothing to do with whether or not drinking is a sin (it is not). This has everything to do with the biggest evangelical celebrities of our day creating an unnecessary stumbling block for a substantial portion of their most loyal followers over yet another branded product to sell to this consumer culture. Simply put, this family appears to be now fully immersed in the root of all sorts of evil; and I'm not talking about making wine. They are part of the very conservative churches of Christ; they knew exactly what would happen when they went into the wine business...and they did it anyway. Why? For the same reason you put your logo on plush ducks and toy cars and plastic cups: money, money, money makes us happy, happy, happy.

My gut feeling is that this is the beginning of the end of the Robertson family's evangelical celebrity stardom. Not because of angry teetotalers calling for boycotts (that doesn't seem to be happening...yet), but rather because they've been kind of exposed. Not exposed as drinkers, but as folks willing to risk strife in the Body of Christ over a meaningless wine label which is intended to do nothing but bring in a little more moolah. The only cost is sacrificing your reputation among some of your most loyal fans.

As C. Montgomery Burns once said of his vast wealth, "I'd trade it all for a little more." Such is celebrity, where all glory is fleeting, so grab all you can. We should have learned this lesson by now - the Lord knows I should've learned it! - in the Kingdom of God, man-made celebrities are brought to nothing, while the least of these sit on the lap of Jesus. The sooner we evangelicals understand all of the implications of that, the better. Hey, that's a fact, Jack!


Note the less-than-subtle subtitle.

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