When We Missed the Writing on the Wall

Church van with characteristic minor fender damage

Since the Rachel Held Evans piece in CNN's Belief Blog last month, there has been a sudden sense of urgency in the church-related blogosphere to add new hands to the joint wringing session. Young adults have left the church and most likely aren't coming back. Blame is being assigned to everything from weak discipleship programs to the unintended consequences of 'cool' youth groups. There are plenty of mourners who are pointing out the problems and tacking on a few tepid (and typically unbiblical) solutions, but I would argue that statistics involving young adults and the local church are similar to other discouraging stats involving Millennials, including things like frighteningly high unemployment rates and general unhappiness with life. These trends are interrelated. We are the most entitled (some might argue spoiled) generation in history, yet we are also deeply unhappy, as best seen in our suicide rates which far eclipse all other forms of injury-related death among young adults today.

I've always wondered when reading these kinds of articles: why aren't the parents on the hook? We blame everything from social media to discipleship for our struggles, but those who were called by God to raise this generation seem to get a pass. We know that the Scriptures are quite clear that parents (most notably fathers) are designed by God to lead their families in areas of spiritual and physical well-being. When this began to falter, that's when the church (as well as the other quantifiable aspects of our society) began its rapid descent. So I don't blame 'cool' worship services nearly as much as I blame 'cool' parents who let their little children decide whether or not they would go to church. To borrow from C.S. Lewis, spiritual malnourishment is often like pride: those who suffer from it are usually the last ones to know. Parents should have been caring for their kids in ways the church never could.

Case in point: we should have seen the writing on the wall a generation ago when van ministries started sweeping the church as a crucial form of children and youth outreach. Every child we picked up was one more child that had to make the very adult decision of whether or not to go to church. It should be no surprise that the vast majority - not all, but most - of those kids have left the church. Van ministries are good and beneficial to the church, but they could never have been an authentic replacement for godly parenting.

That is now the past. We should focus on winning these young adults back as they are waffling through life. Millennials crave love and stability and, I believe, a sense of life discipline. Further, Ms. Held Evans is wrong: Millennials need to listen more than they opine. This is a weakness for the generation, but someone has to tell us to get over it...might as well be the loving Body of Christ. 

Yes, there will be difficulty in integrating new forms of community (e.g., the virtual world) into the traditional congregational experience, but this shouldn't compromise our essential doctrine or core beliefs. We should also focus on ensuring that the remnant Millennials who are true to the Bride make their homes a sanctuary of Christ. The home is where it begins and ends, not the youth room, not even the church sanctuary. Young families don't have to reinvent the wheel. We just have to carefully (but quickly!) rebuild the walls torn down by neglect and outside attack.